When I took Casey in for his 2 month shots he cried. I cried too. Today I took him for his 4 month shots and he cried. But this time he looked back at me, his mom, the one holding him still, and cried harder. It's weird; I packed him up, buckled him in, drove him over there, all the while knowing that it was going to hurt. When the nurse gave him the shot, I knew the cry was coming (and it did indeed). And then the look in my direction, the look in his big blue eyes of "Why are you letting her do this to me?" I should have seen that coming as well - he has a lot more expressions now than he did last time. I really did hurt with him. I didn't whisper in his ear "It's ok" I whispered "I'm sorry, I know this sucks". I know how shots feel, and I really did feel bad about it. But at the same time, I knew all along that this was the right thing to do. Unpleasant but necessary. He cannot understand that yet of course, so I just have to accept the hurt in his face and be comforted by my knowledge that he will be alright.
Not that I am God (by any stretch), but I wonder if this is an opportunity to understand God more fully. God sees our pain coming, by seeing the situations in our lives and when we are on a path that will end with some kind of pain. I think God's heart breaks with ours, probably especially when we look to God and say "Why?". I don't think God ever promised to keep us away from suffering or trouble, God just promised to be there with us through it. We cannot always understand why pain or fear or conflict has to be part of our lives. And then God has the perspective to know we will be ok in the end, even if we do not know it yet ourselves. That is a God I can believe in.
And that is the God I will be asking to be with us when we do it all again at the 6 month shots :)
with thanks to Kevin D-K who touched on this once in reference to clipping his bird's toenails
PS: Our day of shots was only made worse by the Tigers being eliminated from the World Series in game 5 against St Louis. We are comforted though because our dear friends Mark and Yanela are St Louis fans, and they are nice people who deserve to be happy too. Oh well, it was a fun year to be a Tiger fan for sure. Better luck next year!
4 comments:
Wow! These are beautiful thoughts Bridget. Looks like you have given Jeff a Sermon idea. (Very peachable) And Casey is getting so big and continues to be so cute.
Great thoughts Bridg. And this really is an absolutely beautiful picture of Case.
Great preaching, Bridget! Thanks for sharing your experinece. Yes, I was crying as I read it!
Boy do I understand crying with your child as they are getting what they need from doctors and nurses. I do think God cries with us at times as well. Thanks for reminding me of a compassionate God who does not want to see us hurt but knows that sometimes that is the only way to get to the other side.
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